Random facts about fat people: Greatest Hits

Yes, Random Crap is obviously at its peak… so it’s time for a greatest hits post! I’ll be summarizing all of my insults towards fat people for all of you new readers, and who knows... I may even add some new ones for the die hard Random Crap fans!

The ten commandments of a blogging doctrine: “Thou shalt not make thyself an attention whore. Only two things deserve attention on this blog. The (upgraded to) divinely inspired blog author, and the divinely screwed over part of society. If you do not fit into any of these categories, you’re obviously extremely fat, and hence actually belong in the second category.”

The Fat Tax : “How come we get so repulsed by smokers that we forget about how abhorrent fat people eating near you are?”

The Wii and exercise: “Our scientists have recently discovered that the average movements of fat guys have increased by a grand total of 40%! A simple technique was used to measure the impact of earthquakes using a seismometer to prove this”

Different ways to lose fat: “Public chairs and toilets are at danger of being broken, our roads decay much quicker than usual and during stretching exercises in gym classes, some fatties look like what could only be described as a walrus flossing.”

Cheap way of getting fresh content

I realise this, and I feel very guilty about it. But unfortunately I have one exam left... which is tomorrow. There’s been going on much lately in the ‘real’ life, which will all stop consuming my time the day after tomorrow (the actual day after tomorrow, which is now today!).

Some more random facts about Fat people:

They smell fear, so whenever you see one remain calm and for Gods sakes, whatever you do... don’t feed it! It’s like an old saying ‘you give it a finger and it eats your whole arm’ (I’m pretty sure I’ve got that one entirely wrong though).

I was also going to post a “how to spot a fat guy”, but I guess it’s pretty obvious how to spot one...

Random Facts about Random Crap

I sometimes make up words whenever I can’t come up with one. Somewhere in this blog you’ll see that I mention the key to success is “imaginating things”, and I’m pretty sure there are more examples scattered around the Blog... whenever I attempt this in the future, comment about it and make me look like a foreign fool!