Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Seemingly innocent things that hurt so much more

There’s a lot of people who think parents aren’t allowed to guilt their kids to keep them in line, but of course those people are all underage and hence can never be right. (after all… there is no such thing as ‘the truth’, there is only perspective and that of a parent usually wins.) Anyway… “I’m not mad at you son, I’m just disappointed”.

Yes, this kind of mind games are the purpose of this post and I even had to put some spaces between it to make that clear! You pretend you’re not something bad, to then end it by saying you’re something that’s horrible. Since I’ve never really thought about this, I figured it’d be cool to see if I could come up with new ones apart from the famous disappointment one. Here it goes:

“You weren’t that bad, I’ve had even smaller.”

“It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that I’m not attracted to you.”

“It’s nothing personal, I just don’t like the way you teach your class and I can’t learn anything like that.” (okay… that one was mine when I got myself in a position of giving constructive criticism to a teacher that annoyed me because I’m a jerk :P)

“No, no… you’re not silly, you’re just a immature.”

“You’re not dumb, someone just forgot to put on the light in there.”

“Girl, you are pretty damn gorgeous, for a slut I mean.”

“You don’t smell bad, I think you just disgust me in general.”

“I’d do you, but only if I was REALLY drunk.”

If you can come up with any more, feel free to comment and let them be known!

Monday, April 28, 2008

One year of random crap

It's been a little over a year ago since I started Random Crap, and I guess you can say that I'm not really cut out to be a blogger. Sure, I'm an awesome writer and I have the charisma of a God, but picking one consistant course and endlessly milking it is not really my thing. Don't get me wrong, hats off to all of the people who manage to keep an interesting blog going without slacking. Sadly, I don't wear a hat, so ofcourse... you're going to have to do without praise from me.
Anyway, since I did tend to enjoy doing this, (and most importantly there was some interest for it) I'm going to give it a go again. I'll be posting completely, random stuff to test my humor and writing skills again, because I'll have to write a lot of stuff for a pretty big site project soon... and the success of it pretty much depends on yours truly's writing skills :P

I'm not exactly pleased about this post yet, though ofcourse it's just an announcement. But there's absolutely no reason why announcements shouldn't be awesome, so I will give you my awesome totally neutral opinion on a list of random stuff.

Women: They only want one thing... BABIES!
Babies: Excellent food source in times of crisis.
Innocence: It made you like the olson twins for a while.
Garbage: Awesome band... the singer likes being peed on though... so it's sort of a double feeling when I hear her sing "I'm only happy when it rains".
Survivor without cameras: Lets not even go there.
Feminists: All women should be treated like queens... so we can drastically increase the odds of them showing us their boobs.
Titanic: I hate you celine dione, I mean... it's not like Canada was so interesting before you.
Love: An invincible urge to make someone happy.
Power: I took a personality test... and one of my preferred careers is "dictator".

That's it for now... I'll write something else soon.