Saturday, June 23, 2007

About Random Crap

Random Crap is a blog that offers a unique way of looking at the world. This view will often be looked upon as weird, shocking and life altering. We have a natural need for random crap which has to be fed. In here, it will be pleased with irony, satire and most importantly total randomness.

Are you as sick as me of the current comedy that only serves people with extremely high standards? Do you also hate the total lack of absurdum in television programs? Do you hate the fact that you always have to pretend that something’s funny just because you don’t get it?

Read Random crap now! And lower you standards!

Contact info:


Something bothering you ?

Send me an e-mail about it or make a comment on the blog and I’ll do my utmost best to ridicule whichever you requested if I like the topic!

Twitter: Random Crap

Since Random Crap likes to randomly add weird features, I signed up for twitter to tell you all how I spend my interesting and most educating days.

What does it do?

Pretty much all it does is, is allow me to post whatever I'm doing right now... so not much actually. It generally just provides yet another medium for communication with my awesome yet kinda crappy readers base!

Should I join you as a friend?

I'm not all that enthousiastic of having MORE friends, but if you just HAVE to join me as a friend, than feel free to do so :)

Friday, June 22, 2007

Single mothers

This post is part of random crap’s series of "Whoa, that IS annoying!". The main purpose of this post is to enlighten people with how annoying certain crap is. After reading these posts, one will come to the final feeling of "Whoa, that IS annoying!", thus explaining the title. Yes, these posts always have quite an inspirational clue!

The modern image of a single mother is the following: An independent, very determined women who got screwed over by some jerk that knocked her up and chickened out. This image, often promoted by filthy feminists clearly degrades women and I’ll even prove it.

Exhibit A: Using the term “independent and very determined women” emphasizes that it is a rather rare thing. Due to all of the emotional weaknesses of women, feminists feel like they have to put an emphasis on the ‘determination’ and ‘independence’ of the few women that aren’t cry-babies. This achieves a quite nasty effect though, because females will associate independence and determination with being single mothers.

Exhibit B: “Who got screwed over by some jerk that knocked her up and chickened out

What have we learnt from exhibit A? That’s right, if you want to be independent and determined, you need to raise a baby alone! We’ve also learnt that this is because female independence is a rare thing. The jerk that knocked her up (he still is a jerk, because he was never going to call her again though) wants to give his new found love some moral and financial support. Obviously being independent and determined as few females are… the female decides to ignore and even dump the jerk!


Lots of single moms who think they rule the world with their determinedness and independence! They think they can pair up on the pedestrian crossing making you have to go slightly to the right to avoid walking against a baby, those horrible filthy smelly feminists! (yes, this is actually the reason why I wrote this)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Blogging Branch of Random Crap

After my biggest fan (mister SpeedCatHollydale) mentioned that Random Crap was “the best in the biz”, I wondered what “the biz” actually was. I mean obviously if there’s a biz than no doubt am I topping it. (yes, I said obviously AND no doubt!) But lets say there are other funny, humorous and satirical blogs out there filled with awesome yet totally random crap…

I wish to know if I am the first person ever to post random crap on a blog (regarding of the actual meaning of the word for a slight second). I mean if so… I am a pioneer and an international hero! I am the destructor of boredom with the mighty powers of irony and absurdum combined into one very effective yet highly annoying weapon.

Yes, it isn’t easy to do what I do. So if there’s anyone else that does have the same repetitive content and the same type of slightly mentally disturbed readers I’d love to read their content… so I can mock their tiny attempt of a creation to copy the master!

If anyone knows similar blogs than please notify me by still the same e-mail, a comment, or on mybloglog.

PS: Please don’t link me to fark dot com, that would be particularly mean.

Crapdom, the exploiter of boredom and protector of crap.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I love blogging

One of the great things about blogging is the freedom, the billions of dollars you can make (total Random Crap revenue 0.03$!) and the nice work hours. Yes, blogging is the life…

However there’s another great advantage about blogging. Anyone of you ever managed an online community? After managing that, you truly appreciate the beauty of blogging, mainly because you don’t have a large community of assholes creating havoc all the freaking time! What makes blogging so great is that these people are degraded to “readers”, and only have the option to post a comment (which they’d better do to avoid some serious name calling btw!).

Yes, I guess we all agree… you have to have somewhat of a backbone to read my blog. But I’m doing this with an eye for the future. I’m doing it for you!

My goal is to scare off all of the potentially uptight/annoying people and hence I’m targeting on the cool people only! I mean seriously, which one of you would want to see: “You brutal man! I repeat sentences because I have a bad hearing, not because I’m dumb!” in a comment? Sure I know I’m taking a lot of fun away from my readers but it’s for you own good!

All-knowing as I am… I understand you want to make fun of things aswell. So if I get enough feedback, I’ll upgrade my readers again to more than just readers (I’d call them minions but I’ll go for contributors!) I’ll let you choose topics/people or even use quotes of you if I find you to be amusing. Obviously, I expect you to not become an asshole who causes havoc by interacting with people though…

You can e-mail me on or just leave a comment for anything you hate and would want to see annihilated.

Btw, I have very little standards towards ethics… (I’m kidding, I only don’t do racist jokes so don’t ask for that)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Stealing from Slash dot org

After having read the article below, I, author of Random Crap, have sworn my allegiance to save mankind from such retarded structures. Sure a structure has a certain purpose… but when thinking an apartment’s only function is housing, and than making it shaped like a giant dildo, results into lots of complaints upon completion.

One of these silly structures has again been slightly more in the media recently, I’m ofcourse referring to the famous American “space rocket shield”. The idea is that this space shield will fly around the earth, shooting down every incoming bomb/airplane that poses a threat to the US. What both the Russians and the Americans know (and now all of you!), is that one can simply shoot thousands of leaden pipes into space to cause some serious damage to the so called “space shield”.

Ofcourse me NOT being an American, and knowing that this piece of weaponry will NOT result into me being a slave to the superior owners of the crappy rocket shield… Causes me to smile when I know it’s not wasting my tax money :)

But what’s more important than a revival of the cold war, is that I can make up buildings with similar problems aswell!

Nope, actually I can’t… I tried to, I really did but it just wasn’t funny. I guess this post is finished than.


- Nuke-Proof Bunker Turns Out Not Waterproof

Monday, June 18, 2007

Part two: Questions that repeat

I think we can all agree that Random Crap has made enough jokes about fat people, there must be around a million great fat jokes already anyway… WRONG! There are never enough fat jokes… But because we all eventually have to move on I decided to pick a different topic and regardless of how wrong it is to stop making fat jokes by God I will talk about this topic!

What’s the one thing that’s worse than fat people eating in front of you? Well yes, obviously it’s fat people exercising in front of you, but enough with the whole picking on obese people. (which is how they make it a nicer term)

I’m ofcourse talking about people who ask questions that repeat the content of whatever the hell you just said. Small example:

“Tom just got a haircut.” -> “Did Tom just get a haircut?” (with lots of intonation) -> “Yes you stupid bitch, I just said so!”

I find this so extremely annoying that I just avoid talking to people who have posed such stupid questions in the past. I have literally taken large diversions to avoid talking to said identified people. It’s embarrassing not only for the person but also for me, who has the say: “yes, that is indeed what I just said…”.

Either people don’t trust my sources of information and are hence forced to ask for a second opinion, and with the lack of other people standing there they ask me twice … Or these people have no social skills whatsoever, and make conversation by repeating whatever you say.

Personally, I think it’s option 2… and that IS annoying

Sunday, June 17, 2007


For my series of “Random insult of the week”, this could not be quite categorised as “random”. I have properly aimed on my target, and unlike Jesus whom I love (especially in Family Guy, you rock dude!) I actually do hate you God damn filthy Lurkers!

…Have I mentioned that bloggers are pretty much completely dependant on Lurkers?


They lurk and lurk
While you work and work
They watch and they read
As you post for your need

Your need for fresh comments,
To get you some lovin’
Come on now you lurkers,
Gimme some lovin’!

A familiar sight

At the online forums about gaming that I’m part of, there are 12 members online with none of them posting any new material. This is normal you say? It happens in chat rooms and every other online community as well?

WRONG! Well I mean it’s right, but it’s WRONG, plain WRONG!

Now that we’ve established that it’s right but actually really is WRONG, we can move on. The lurker is the person who dips his crackers to make them soft while reading a newspaper AND lurking WebPages at the same time.

It is generally assumed that because of the great multitasking skills of the lurker, “he” derives mainly from the female side. However, this goes against the fact that most women are a bunch of very loud and annoying little bitches.

Are we overlooking something than? Maybe not all women are loud annoying bitches, or maybe there are also lurkers who aren’t great at multitasking?

The simple truth… is that gay people are also good at multitasking, because they’re also partly loud and annoying, yet with a silly voice.

The conclusion

All lurkers are homosexual! That’s right, if you haven’t stopped multitask-reading this from around the third sentence, it’s time to come out of the closet and post a comment!

Note: Although often used as a term to describe gay people hiding their true nature, in this case "coming out of the closet" means “stop hiding”.

The new thingy

This post is part of my series of "Whoa, that IS annoying!". The main purpose of this post is to enlighten people with how annoying certain things are. After reading these posts, one will come to the final feeling of "Whoa, that IS annoying!", thus explaining the title.

Part 1: Bloggers

If you find reporters disgusting people, than you no doubt hate bloggers. These horrible, too lazy to get a decent hobby/job, monsters often make money off telling you what to do. Sure you say, lots of people make money of telling me what to do? But some bloggers actually don’t have anything to say, and thus consequently make money off wasting your precious time! This precious time would otherwise be spent on reading literature, losing weight, helping the poor and meeting acquaintances.

It’s fairly easy to pick out the honest and fair bloggers such as myself, who write only for the sake of mankind. Without us, the world would be filled with corruption, war, disease, poverty and… (what else goes wrong in the world?) and Paris Hilton!

So save the world and support the honest bloggers. Read my blog, make me happy and comment on what annoys you in this world!

And now for the slow and easily amused people who read my blog…

I’m implying that all bloggers are a bunch of retards crying for attention, including myself. And that by reading this you surely have wasted your time.

“Whoa, that IS annoying!”