Friday, July 6, 2007

Random Crap is seriously screwed!

It was a tough call to decide between posting this, and about my night two nights ago. Because the charismatic author of Random Crap does have feelings, (regardless of what one may think) I’ve chosen for ‘this’.

You’re screwed?

Oh yes I’m screwed. I’m so screwed it’s too funny even for random crap to handle. Never has anyone screwed up this badly before, since the Romans made Christianity their state religion. What have I done you ask? Lets just say laziness isn’t bliss…

Is Random Crap screwed aswell?

Random Crap will never die… it’s a lifestyle! Though due to my recent screwing up I tend to not find great/funny content to post about. I’m quite certain this is a temporary thing, and once I get over myself, I’ll be able to post some Random funny Crap again.

The temporary not funny Random Crap idealist

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Random Crap’s fun pause!

Because Random Crap is tired of coming up with funny crap all the time, posting will be on hold for a while. The reason is this: It’s vacation, the birds are singing and the women are screaming for attention. I know this goes against one of my own commandments, but I’m pretty sure Jesus broke the 10 commandments aswell (I’ll post about that sometime). What should you do when I’m gone? Preferably, write awesome content for my blog to keep it going and to make me filthy rich!

Unfortunately that probably won’t happen, so I suggest you go to a random crap clinic while I’m gone. (you’ll find one in [insert smelly city here] Detroit. (damnit!)
There are however a few things anyone can help me with. During my pause I’ll write a buffer of posts so I won’t have to take a pause anymore and will have something semi-decent atleast every day.

So what do I need?

  • More feedback on anything
  • Boobies... I mean inspiration. If you want me to write on something just ask.

The pause should normally not last very long...

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Not That Funny

Have you ever laughed about something for ages while it was actually not that funny? I’m not talking about “not that funny” as in political humor. (example: it’s not funny because it’s horrible and wrong) But what I’m talking about is really silly, pointless and stupid crap. (yet not so random) Ofcourse Random Crap wouldn’t be named Random Crap if it didn’t have a post about this… sadly it doesn’t have a post about it and hence will be named differently in the near future.

(I’m just kidding, here’s the post!)

Greatest of all time

I’m the proud owner of the very best joke in the universe. Already at age 15 had I taken the extremely difficult burden of humor upon me to endlessly provide joy and happiness for those that deserve it. Yes, in theory I may aswell be a hero (in reality an idiot) but I don’t spend my time talking about how great I am unlike other heroes (hiro nakamuro, I’m on to you!).
Anyway… the greatest joke in the world. I had a certain teacher who would everyday use the elevator to get to the third floor (he was what one would call, disgustingly fat) and one day he arrived 5 minutes late and excused himself for it. I whispered into my neighbor’s ear: “I bet the elevator broke down.”

That’s not that funny

I know damn it, that’s the point of this post! It was funny at a certain time and in a certain context, and will be funny again whenever a fat guy, who uses an elevator daily, arrives late. Does anyone actually ever listen to what I say? (granted that this was a verbal conversation) And also, do I get your thoughts right in all of my inner titles?

I encourage everyone who laughs at similar silly things to comment about them so we can all quote you and say “That’s not that funny!” aswell.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Random facts about fat people: Greatest Hits

Yes, Random Crap is obviously at its peak… so it’s time for a greatest hits post! I’ll be summarizing all of my insults towards fat people for all of you new readers, and who knows... I may even add some new ones for the die hard Random Crap fans!

The ten commandments of a blogging doctrine: “Thou shalt not make thyself an attention whore. Only two things deserve attention on this blog. The (upgraded to) divinely inspired blog author, and the divinely screwed over part of society. If you do not fit into any of these categories, you’re obviously extremely fat, and hence actually belong in the second category.

The Fat Tax : How come we get so repulsed by smokers that we forget about how abhorrent fat people eating near you are?

The Wii and exercise: “Our scientists have recently discovered that the average movements of fat guys have increased by a grand total of 40%! A simple technique was used to measure the impact of earthquakes using a seismometer to prove this

Different ways to lose fat: “Public chairs and toilets are at danger of being broken, our roads decay much quicker than usual and during stretching exercises in gym classes, some fatties look like what could only be described as a walrus flossing.

Cheap way of getting fresh content

I realise this, and I feel very guilty about it. But unfortunately I have one exam left... which is tomorrow. There’s been going on much lately in the ‘real’ life, which will all stop consuming my time the day after tomorrow (the actual day after tomorrow, which is now today!).

Some more random facts about Fat people:

They smell fear, so whenever you see one remain calm and for Gods sakes, whatever you do... don’t feed it! It’s like an old saying ‘you give it a finger and it eats your whole arm’ (I’m pretty sure I’ve got that one entirely wrong though).

I was also going to post a “how to spot a fat guy”, but I guess it’s pretty obvious how to spot one...

Random Facts about Random Crap

I sometimes make up words whenever I can’t come up with one. Somewhere in this blog you’ll see that I mention the key to success is “imaginating things”, and I’m pretty sure there are more examples scattered around the Blog... whenever I attempt this in the future, comment about it and make me look like a foreign fool!