Monday, June 11, 2007

Fat Tax

Random Crap has mentioned the Fat Tax earlier in another post, so I'll refresh your memory first before making new points.

As globalisation provides us with increasing wealth and trade, our variety in choice of food consumption also grows. Needless to say, we have a lot of fat people these days. These fat prototypes of humans are an excruciating pain in our national budget...

...To secure our world’s beauty, economy and pride we must install a fat tax immediately! For every percentage over 20% fat you’ll have to pay a fine of 1% of your pay check which will be used for a new social weight loss program.

With all of the recent media cover on banning smoking in public areas, or even in bars. A much bigger (very funny) problem gets pushed aside.
A familiar sight is an obese man eating a hamburger wearing the stereotypical fat guy outfit consisting of a sweaty T-shirt and shorts and in some cases a baseball hat aswell. Much have we been horrified by this disgusting yet very common scene. How come we get so repulsed by smokers that we forget about how abhorrent fat people eating near you are? Why doesn't the media or the politicians cover this story?

I'm pretty sure everyone agrees on how much fat people eating smell. I mean with the usual spilling of food on their sweaty shirts and the combination of gasses must lead to an atleast equally disturbing scent as cigarettes. Ofcourse I realise that fat people eating in public doesn't cause cancer to people around them, but doesn't the emotional trauma account for anything? Who wants to see an image of a fat cow eating her lunch on a bench in the city park? And wasn't it proven that cows cause more CO² emissions than any car?

Why won't the media or the politicians cover this topic?

Because a lot of them are a bunch of overweight retards who get elected by equally large bastards to blame the fast food industry for making them fat.
My proposal is simple, you'll just have to live with the fact that there won't be any "special people" seats in the movies, titanium beds in hospitals, forklifts to help you take a dump, and even broader doorways to make the entrance of your disgusting load of fat easier.

To help encourage you to lose weight, we'll use the "lazy poor" system that's currently outdated in most Western economies, but still working fine in countries such as China and the US.
The concept is this. If you're fat, than you are lazy and we will tax the hell out of you for the avarage fat percentage during a fiscal year.

And to answer to a comment of a reader:
" When you were gone, I went outside and thus contributed to global warming.

Think of the planet and post some more random crap!"

If you're fat James, than don't fart... seriously!

No comments: